


she

by kronotriga



Series: she keeps me warm [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Asexuality Spectrum, F/F, Lesbian Character, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Time Skip, Pre-Relationship, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:29:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronotriga/pseuds/kronotriga
Summary: Kiyoomi blinks down at the sweater in her hands, seemingly taken aback. “Thanks, ‘Tsumu,” she mumbles into the fleece as it goes over her head and Atsumu jolts, realizing it’s the first time she’s heard Kiyoomi say her first name. The sight of Kiyoomi in her sweater also isn’t good for her heart, her pale neck framed by softness Atsumu is intimately familiar with and she finds herself wishing she could touch Kiyoomi too, press a longer kiss there than last night’s—
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: she keeps me warm [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128053
Comments: 4
Kudos: 83





	she

**Author's Note:**

> highly recommended [listening](https://youtu.be/tAAl3HV-0t0) (the live version is especially beautiful and heart-wrenching)

Sakusa— Kiyoomi tastes like the umeshu she had at dinner, sweet and tart on Atsumu’s tongue. She tries not to be too greedy, to take too much from Kiyoomi when she’s not sure yet of her own feelings, but then Kiyoomi’s pliant mouth opens on a whimper and suddenly Atsumu is _hungry_ like she never has been before. 

Kissing Kiyoomi is nothing like kissing the handful of women she kissed a couple years ago, when she knew she wanted to be _with_ women but never felt a spark of attraction strong enough to pursue. She didn’t have the time to get to know them and maybe fall in love when she was a rookie right out of high school, and then she stayed too busy as she settled into her professional career. Maybe Atsumu should have tried harder, should have actually gone on dates like Kiyoomi apparently had, but she thinks nothing else would have even remotely compared to kissing her best friend.

Kiyoomi tastes so good and the pressure of her thin lips feels so much more amazing than Atsumu ever expected but she needs to stop _now_ before hurting her. She pulls away as gently as possible as she comes back down flat on her feet but the damage has probably already been done. Sure enough, Kiyoomi’s dark eyes are glassy, either with arousal or unshed tears or both, and guilt courses through Atsumu.

* * *

Kiyoomi’s eyelids flutter back open as Atsumu pulls away, devastation in her wake, and Kiyoomi refrains from chasing her lips. Not now, not yet. Maybe never again.

Some of her fear must still show in her expression because Atsumu caresses her cheek with the same hand that had touched her lip, the sole point of contact between them.

“You won’t lose me,” she promises. Kiyoomi trusts her with her heart. 

That night, chapped lips and calloused fingers haunt Kiyoomi’s dreams.

* * *

Kiyoomi had planned on allowing herself to sleep in until nearly noon but the shrill sound of her phone startles her awake. Rolling over she groans at the 8:34 am blinking at her and smacks at her phone until she unplugs it, blearily registering the caller is her cousin. Who she really should have checked in on last night before going to bed, regardless of her temporary anger.

“Hey, Kiyoomi.” Komori greets her warmly when she manages to sit upright to take the call, goosebumps prickling out over her bare shoulders in the chill of the room. Maybe collapsing into bed in a tank top on a cold autumn evening wasn’t Kiyoomi’s smartest idea but she wasn’t exactly functioning at her best after parting from Atsumu.

“Did you get back to Shizuoka safely? Sorry I didn’t check in—”

“Kiyoomi, _I’m_ sorry about last night,” Komori interrupts. “I didn’t mean to out you and your feelings.”

Ah, of course Komori was worried about that. “Oh no, she knew. I mean, I told her early on about being gay but I, uh, just realized my feelings for her the other day.”

“I’m still sorry I just blurted it out.” 

Kiyoomi sighs. “I was planning on telling her anyway,” she admits. “I was off during practice all day and before we left to meet up with you I promised I’d tell her what the issue was after dinner. I just didn’t think it would be so obvious.”

Komori hums over the line. “I’ve really never seen you make that expression before,” she says and Kiyoomi has to sigh.

“Well, I’ve never felt like this before.” She allows her cousin to process the admittance and they sit in companionable silence for long seconds.

“So,” Komori brings up tentatively, “how did that discussion after dinner go?”

“Atsumu kissed me.”

“She _what_?” Kiyoomi has to pull the phone away from her face but Komori’s yell still rings in her ear.

“She asked if she could and I wanted her to.”

“And you didn’t bother to tell her it was your first kiss?”

Komori’s got her there. “Even if it didn’t mean anything to her I wasn’t about to turn down Atsumu as my first kiss.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Komori grumbles and Kiyoomi has to smile, if sadly.

“It may be too—”

A persistent knock at the door draws her attention away and can only mean one person. Atsumu is here, as if yesterday hadn’t happened and they’re best friends again without a chasm of unrequited feelings between them. But Kiyoomi is weak and can’t turn her away, eager for any time spent in her company even if it hurts.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta go.”

“Take care,” Komori says, both comfort and warning. Kiyoomi is already moving even as she says her own goodbye and pockets her phone. Atsumu in her doorway is radiant, cheeks pink from the cold and drowning in an oversized fleece sweater and joggers. God, Kiyoomi loves her.

_Am I allowed to look at her like that?_

* * *

“What are you doing here?”

If Atsumu did not know Kiyoomi so well she might have thought the question was an accusation instead of bewilderment. She holds up the plastic bag she’s holding.

“I stopped by the corner store to pick up that limited edition ice cream you love so much!”

And maybe it’s selfish but Atsumu doesn’t want to give up their weekend routine of spending the day together, regardless of how things came to a head last night. She’s going to stay Kiyoomi’s best friend no matter what and consider the feelings she may already have had for a while.

Kiyoomi opens the door wider and Atsumu makes herself at home, because she is. They spend just as much time at Atsumu’s apartment but Kiyoomi’s has the added benefit of smelling like her, wrapping around Atsumu in gentle folds every time she walks in. It’s not the first time Atsumu has wanted to throw herself on Kiyoomi’s bed and bury her face in her spiker’s pillow but she knows what it means now.

Taking a deep breath doesn’t help clear her senses but does bring her much needed air as she sets the bag on the coffee table. Kiyoomi’s couch is just barely longer than a loveseat so they had settled into the habit of Kiyoomi folding into her recliner and Atsumu taking the couch when she comes over. But Kiyoomi surprises her, perching on the arm of the couch instead of her usual seat, looking down at Atsumu with her soulful dark eyes.

“Not that I’m complaining, but isn’t it too early for ice cream?” Atsumu doesn’t miss the quirk of her lips that lets her know Kiyoomi is actually pleased.

“I could have put it in the freezer but you didn’t ask me to.” Two can play this game and Atsumu isn’t gonna lose, proud of her victory when Kiyoomi snorts.

“I’m going to get a spoon,” she says as she rises and stretches her arms above her head, the moles on her abs distorting slightly with the movement as her tank top rides up. Atsumu feels her neck burn then frowns, thinking it’s definitely too cold for Kiyoomi’s lack of upper body clothing despite the sensible flannel pajama bottoms. “Do you need one?”

“Nah, I picked out savory snacks for myself.” A thought comes to her and she’s already pulling her sweater over her head before she can second guess herself. The sweater is warm and Kiyoomi runs cold, she reasons as she tosses it at her. “Put that on, can’t have my spiker catchin’ a cold.” Atsumu’s own thermal shirt underneath is more than enough for herself.

Kiyoomi blinks down at the sweater in her hands, seemingly taken aback. “Thanks, ‘Tsumu,” she mumbles into the fleece as it goes over her head and Atsumu jolts, realizing it’s the first time she’s heard Kiyoomi say her first name. The sight of Kiyoomi in her sweater also isn’t good for her heart, her pale neck framed by softness Atsumu is intimately familiar with and she finds herself wishing she could touch Kiyoomi too, press a longer kiss there than last night’s—

"Miya," Kiyoomi’s voice comes out raspy and she has to clear her throat but she has Atsumu’s undivided attention. "What are you doing?" 

Those eyes tolerate no bullshit. "I'm payin' attention to you."

* * *

Kiyoomi has to turn away to the kitchen, returning with a spoon and her heart rate more under control. Atsumu is just looking out for her as her best friend and as her setter, that’s all.

This time she settles into the recliner, opting for more space from Atsumu who wordlessly passes her the small tub of purple sweet potato ice cream. Autumn really is the best season.

Atsumu digs into her own packet of chicken tenders from the bag, carefully spearing each piece with the provided toothpicks and humming with gusto. 

“Some professional athletes we are,” Kiyoomi teases, eyes fond as Atsumu chews with squirrel cheeks. 

“We’re allowed to live a little once a week!” 

Kiyoomi laughs and takes another bite of her own unhealthy treat but Atsumu is strangely quiet, staring at her when she looks up. Before Kiyoomi can ask what’s wrong, Atsumu is reaching across the short distance between them, wiping at the corner of her mouth with her thumb in a move mirroring last night's right before she’d kissed her. Atsumu pulls away with purple ice cream on her thumb, popping it into her mouth, and Kiyoomi can’t help flushing.

“Yesterday,” she croaks out and has to swallow before continuing. “That was my first kiss,” Kiyoomi admits as she maintains eye contact with Atsumu.

“That was… your first kiss.” Kiyoomi can see the dawning guilt in Atsumu's eyes but she won’t have it.

“I _wanted_ you to kiss me,” she reminds her. “You asked and I wanted it. Besides, was it helpful to make things clearer?”

“Yeah.” Atsumu’s face is serious. “To me, kissing means nothing unless it’s with someone I love.”

Well, Kiyoomi can’t say she wasn’t mentally prepared but rejection still stings all the same. She inhales sharply and settles her heart. “Then I don’t regret it at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> the [purple sweet potato ice cream](https://soranews24.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2016/08/imo1.jpg) atsumu got for omi, a favorite I miss so much
> 
> atsumu has realized she likes omi back but did a poor job at communicating it, things will get cleared up in the next part!
> 
> (whoops, ejp raijin is based in shizuoka, updated!)
> 
> follow the writing process on my [side twit](https://twitter.com/kronopriv)


End file.
